Happy Birthday Taylor Love

Father God,
Thank you for the gift of my daughter Taylor Love. Thank you for blessing my life with her 2 years ago. Thank you for entrusting her into my care and for giving me the opportunity to know her and love her and raise her. She is such a precious girl, so full of craziness and silliness and energy. She is bright and loving and funny and has been such a blessing to our whole family. Her birth 2 years ago drew me to you God, and for that, I praise you!
Father, I pray for her protection. I pray that you will keep her safe and healthy. I pray that you will watch over her always, being before her and after her and all around her. I pray that her mind will be sharp and her heart will be strong.
Above all else Lord, I pray that she will love you. I pray that she will seek you and want to know you and long to learn about you and serve you. I know God that if she commits her life to you, that she will be filled with joy, she will be purposeful and confident and self assured, she will be peaceful, humble, loving. I know that if she truly loves you she will surround herself with good friends, and make good choices and do good. And I know that if she accepts your love and grace and sincerely believes that she has a purpose, your purpose, she will grow up feeling good about herself, feeling whole and complete. I know Lord, that a life devoted to you does not always ensure ease and comfort, but it does ensure a hope and a promise. Lord, fill Taylor with that hope, with a strong faith and bless her with a life that brings you glory.
Please help me to be a good mother for her. Give me the wisdom and patience and discernment that I need. Help me to be a good example for her. Fill me with your spirit, with your light, so that she sees your love in me. Use me as an instrument to reach her and teach her and draw her near to you.
In Christ's name I pray,
Amen

Sign Me Up To Be Blessed

According to Matthew 5-7, one day Jesus saw that crowds were gathering around him, so He went up on a mountainside near Capernaum and began to teach. This teaching is called the "Sermon On The Mount" and is also known as the Beatitudes.
The word beatitude, from Latin, means blessedness or state of supreme happiness. In this sermon Jesus describes the qualities of the citizens of the Kingdom of heaven and the characteristics of those who are deemed blessed by God. Each of the blessed individuals is generally not considered blessed according to worldly standards, but with a heavenly perspective—that is, truly blessed. A more literal translation would be "possessing an inward contentedness and joy that is not affected by the physical circumstances". Each of the Beatitudes presents a situation in which the person described would not be described by the world as "blessed", yet Jesus declares that they truly are blessed, and they are blessed with a blessing that outlasts any type of blessing this world has to offer. (Wikipedia)
Isn't this what we all want? To be blessed, supremely happy, no matter what the circumstances? Yes....
But the Beatitudes don't promise laughter, pleasure, earthly prosperity. Being "blessed" by God means being hopeful, joyful. To have these, we are told to follow Jesus. And if we follow Jesus we will want to be like Him, possesing more of these qualitites.

"God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of God is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they are comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of God is theirs."
Matthew 5:3-10

Now, the question is, how do I do all those things, as to be blessed by God?

It's A Small World After All

Took the girls to Disneyland this morning for a few hours. (love that we live in So Cal and can just pop in there for 2 rides, lunch and a quick hug with Alice in Wonderland!) It was HOT and while we enjoyed the air conditioning in "Small World," I was hit hard by the simplicity and beauty of the song lyrics that I've heard 100 times!
"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears
There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware
It's a small world afterall"

Weird? No, Perfect!

The timing couldn't have been anymore perfect yesterday at church...Rev Charlie Campbell was giving a wonderful sermon, he was talking about God's judgement, and as if it was all part of the production....there was loud, booming thunder, flashes of lightening, down pouring of rain and the lights in the sanctuary flickering. It was priceless, this huge storm, in San Clemente, in August.
After the service was over people where all piled up in the church, waiting for the heavy rain to let up so they could make their way to the parking lot. There were quite a few elderly folks at this particular service, and the rainy conditions made it difficult for them to get to their cars safely. My husband, Mark, made a mad dash for our car, got a few umbrellas, helped the girls and I out and then made several trips from the sanctuary to the parking lot with some senior citizens that were stranded and needing assistance. He was soaked, and so sweet with these older people, approaching them at the door of the sanctuary, putting his arm out for them to grab hold of, and walking slowly and carefully, transporting quite a few people to their cars. I was proud of him! I pictured God grinning down on him, pleased with Mark's treatment of "his neighbor."
Mark told me later, of the most incredible thing that happened. He was helping an older lady, who was having quite a bit of trouble walking. As they were approaching her car another woman walked up to them, stopping right in front of them, in the parking lot, in the pouring rain, getting ready to greet this older woman clinging onto Mark's arm. Mark said he couldn't believe that this lady was picking this time to start a conversation!! And then she said to Mark's lady friend, "I just have to tell you that my son finally found a job. Thank you so much for praying for him. Your prayers really worked!"
When Mark was telling me this story, he said, "Can you believe that? She stops us, in the middle of the rain, and thanks this woman for praying for her son to find a job! Isn't that weird?"
No, it's not weird....it's perfect! God uses any situation, at anytime, to communicate with us. Mark and I were floored at all that went into this moment that spoke volumes to Mark. In this season of his life, when he is looking for a new job, when we are praying together for God's guidance and leadership in this situation, when we are making efforts to reach out in new ways to help less fortunate people, God's timing is so perfect! We chatted about what we thought God was saying to us in that moment. We discussed it for quite some time and were just mystified at the lengths that God goes to in order to reach us. It's amazing how sovereign and powerful and involved God is. It's incredible to know that He is so invested in our little corner of San Clemente, while being equally invested in every other corner of the world. Weird? No, perfect!!!

I Want To Be A Moon!

Please read this article, written by my Pastor....

http://www.thehighcalling.org/Library/ViewLibrary.asp?LibraryID=3942

Even Mother Theresa Doubts

Time Magazine recently published an article of some letters written by Mother Theresa, where she painfully admits that she struggled with her faith. She, for 50 years, says that she lived in a painful darkness where she sometimes wondered about the existence of God. In the midst of all her great humanitarian work, in the name of Jesus, she admited to feeling forsaken, abandoned, empty, alone and ashamed.
At first, this article might make believers nervous. Mother Theresa was such a shining example of a life lived out in faith. If she struggled with her fundamental belief in God, then what about me? Right? Wrong! This article is exactly what a life lived out in faith should look like. Even Jesus Christ, God in flesh, as he was dying on the cross, cried out in a loud voice, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" Matthew 27:46
If our goal as believers is to become more and more like Christ, then we have to expect that this life will parallel his suffering, his doubt, his feeling of forsakeness. When we are saved, there is no guarentee that our lives will be easy, or that we will never feel distant from God, or that we will never struggle with our faith. It is through these trials and times of hardship and seasons of spiritual darkness that we have to keep seeking and praying and trusting that God is there and will fulfill his promises. Those will be the times that will truly strenghten and solidify our faith.
In one of her later letters, Mother Theresa writes about why she believes that she struggeled so many years with feeling the absence and lonliness from God....
"I can't express in words — the gratitude I owe you for your kindness to me — for the first time in ... years — I have come to love the darkness — for I believe now that it is part of a very, very small part of Jesus' darkness & pain on earth. You have taught me to accept it [as] a 'spiritual side of your work' as you wrote — Today really I felt a deep joy — that Jesus can't go anymore through the agony — but that He wants to go through it in me.
— to Neuner, Circa 1961

Please, take the time to read the entire article...

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415-1,00.html

I Got Stumped!

My mom and I spent a lovely morning together today. We started off with a nice long walk along San Clemente's beach trail. We were having a great conversation and debate about the influence that following God might have in my family as I raise my kids. My brother and I were not raised with a church influence, and if I am being completely honest....we turned out pretty darn good. My parents did an amazing job of raising us to be bright, confident, independent, secure, good natured people. There was always a very open and honest flow of conversation going in our home, where no topic was off limits. My parents made sure that we felt comfortable talking about anything and everything with them, and I am certain that is one of reasons that my brother and I turned out the way we did. Sure, we made mistakes, we did get a little crazy in high school and college, but we were good students, we were leaders, and were well mannered, respectful and responsible kids. My mom and I talked about some of the poor choices that I made in my younger years, and she assured me that she thought those experiences were good for me. I agree that I got through it all okay, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't change one thing about my past. But I worry about raising my kids to make the right choices in dealing with peer pressures, under age drinking, premarital sex, etc. The question my mother posed to me this morning was something like "If you agree that we did a great job of raising you, even without God, then what difference will God make in the raising of your kids? How will having God make it any better? How will you encourage open communication, where your kids will feel free to come to you with questions, problems, dilemmas about peer pressure while telling them not to do things because God says it's wrong? Will you just tell your kids what not to do because it's what the Bible says?"
I said something like this...."uh...um....duh....er!" That question caught me off guard, and challenged me to really think. It was a great conversation and one that I needed.
This is what was in my heart, but for some reason I couldn't get up and out of my mouth... I love God and I want to teach my kids to love God! I believe that He should be of the utmost importance in our home. I want to teach them how wonderful and loving and gracious and perfect He is. I want them to know Him and seek Him. I believe that He knows everything, that He has a great plan for us, that we can trust that His commandments and instructions for our life are in our best interest. I believe that we can trust His word, that if we strive to be more like Him, by following Him and obeying Him, that we will have lives full of peace, love, goodness and blessings. I am in love with Jesus, I think He is fantastic and out of my devotion and respect for Him I want to please Him, to be more like Him, to live my life as a great example of the difference that He has made in me. I hope that my life will be a good example for my kids, that they will see the peace that I get from this relationship and that it will inspire them to have it too.
Last night the high school ministry leader of our church shared this scripture with the kids as she discussed with them the pressures of the "party scene"....."Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33

Mom...Thanks for all that you did, and still do, to take such good care of Nick and I. You are an amazing mother. I have always loved the way you and dad raised us in such an open and honest and loving home. You taught us to be thoughtful, compassionate, passionate, expressive people. I LOVE YOU!!!

My Sweet Girls

Scary But Exciting Times

For months Mark has been stressed about his job. He's been overworked, overburdened, overwhelmed. He works so hard, and so well, to provide for our family, and it was painful to watch be under that pressure all the time. I turned to scripture.
Jesus tells us "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:28-30
The yoke that Jesus talks about is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox. It is attached to a piece of equipment that the oxen are to pull. People may be carrying heavy burdens of their own, but Jesus promises to free us from these. The yoke refers to the challenges, the work, the difficulties. Jesus doesn't say that a life with Him will be problem free, but He says it will be a shared yoke, with the weight falling on bigger shoulders than our own.
I started to really hold on to this scripture and pray for Mark all the time. I asked God to shoulder some of Mark's burden, to relieve him of his stress and anxiety and worries about work. I asked for answers and guidance and direction for Mark. I began to ask daily if Mark should keep this job? Should he pursue another position? Is there something else for him? I asked for God to reveal his will for us.
After weeks and weeks of praying and seeking and asking for God's involvement, Mark came home early last Tuesday afternoon and told me that he and his company had decided to part ways.
I'll admit, this answer wasn't really what I had in mind, and I was a little scared and nervous, but I was also weirdly excited and giddy. I was certain in that moment that God was intimately involved in this and it was thrilling.
Over the past week, my faith has been stronger than ever. I never would have imagined that a scary time like this would also be a time that I felt the closest and most sure of God's hand in my life. I am certain that good things are on the rise for our family. In Proverbs 3:6 we are told "Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." I have been praying for answers, for direction and guidance. I have been asking God to show Mark and I what He wants us to do. I believe that He has plans for our family that are far better than we could come up with on our own. I have found such peace and comfort from Romans 8:28, where Paul says "We know that God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
As Mark continues to look for work, I will continue to thank God for his faithfulness, for his promises, for his love and devotion to my family. I will be anxious and excited to see how He will use this time to draw my family closer to Him. And I will cling to Philippians 4:6-7 where I am told "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand."

F.U.N Kim

For years, all that Mark has really asked of me, is that I be "F.U.N. Kim"...flexible, understanding and nice.
Sure, he likes the laundry done, the frig stocked and a warm meal waiting for him after work....but he wouldn't care about those things at all if I was always just F.U.N.
If I am in one of those self improvement moods, and maybe Mark and I are sharing some wine and a nice meal out away from the kids, I'll get all snuggly and I'll ask Mark, "what can I do to make you more happy? what areas do I need to work on to be the kind of wife that you want me to be?" Almost everytime, he answers, "Kim, I just want you to be F.U.N" (he came up with that a few years back, and he just thinks he is so clever every time he uses is....but really, it's pretty darn good!) He'll explain that he just wants me to be pleasant, to be kick back and easy going, to be enjoyable and kind. Sounds easy enough? How sad is it to say that I can't always do it!!
I am feeling really convicted lately about the kind of wife I've been. I've been taking these stupid hormones to try to get rid of the ovarian cysts that I keep getting, and they have turned me into a monster. All excuses aside, I have been such a difficult person to live with for the last month, and poor Mark has had enough of me. I am fighting him on everything, am in a constant bad mood and am losing my temper over the smallest things. The other night, he said to me..."it is just no fun to be around you anymore!" That one really stung. I certainly don't want to be kind of wife that he dreads coming home to. Instead I want to be the F.U.N. place he looks forward to rushing home to at night, the place where he can forget his stresses and burdens, the place that restores his energy, makes him feel like the strong, capable, succesful man that his girls at home think he is. I want to be the place where he can refuel, feel relaxed and peaceful and worry free. I want my actions to be a reflection of how much I love him, respect him, appreciate him and honor him. I just want to be F.U.N!!