Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Bible Banger" in Training

My 2 year old daugther, Taylor, is well on her way to becoming a "Bible Banging, Jesus Freak!" For the last several weeks, she's been dragging around this big children's Bible and nearly shoving it in anyone's face that she can, demanding "read the Bible book!" I just imagine that God is looking down on her and giggling like crazy.

Monday, September 24, 2007

What Are You Doing At 5:10am?

Monday through Friday, at 5:10am, I begin my workout. Three days of the week I run, two of the days I cross train. Then on Saturdays I get to sleep in a little, until 6:45am, then it's off to the beach trail for my "long run." Sundays, I rest!
I am training for the Carlsbad Half Marathon (13.1 mi) on January 20th. I am really enjoying the commitment I've made, the training process, the new shape my body is taking....and the new reason for my run.....


http://www.firstgiving.com/kimberlycampbell

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Who Am I?

Well, summer seems like a distant memory! My girls and I have already decorated the house with all the fall decorations. (Mark taught Katelyn to say "mommy, you have ants in your pants!!") Yesterday was cool and crisp, it even sprinkled during my morning run. And at 4am this morning we were pleasantly surprised with a rain storm.
But I have been spending a lot of my time lately reflecting on this past summer. Every other Thursday morning, one of my Pastors, Lisa, and I would meet for coffee. We spent the summer months going through a "discipleship." I spent time every day doing homework in a great workbook called "Walking With Christ," then we would meet, go over the questions and discuss all sorts of great things related to becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. I learned so much from her and my reading of Scripture, and I was especially challenged to really look hard at myself and all the things that keep me from truly becoming a faithful disciple of Jesus.
All of our lessons came together beautifully as we finished with the last chapter called "Walking As a Servant." At the beginning of the lesson it said "Mature followers of Jesus are marked by what they will do for others without expecting anything in return." Geeze, I think that in most cases I expect a little something in return for the good deeds I do. It may not be a huge production, or a hand written thank you note, but at least the acknowledgement of my act of kindness. But then, I am missing the point in the act of service. I am "doing" in order to be recognized, complimented, appreciated. That certainly isn't how it all went down for Jesus.
There was a question in the lesson that I just can't shake off. (guess God really wants me to learn from this one, huh?!) It asked "consider that Jesus served even his betrayer. Who are the most difficult people for you to serve?" Pastor Lisa and I spent a considerable amount of time on this question and it really struck a cord with me. As we finished our time together that morning, she prayed for us, as she did every time. And she prayed for me and my family specifically, as she always did. This time she prayed that I would be able to serve those that are the hardest for me to serve. And she prayed that I would be able to see those people THROUGH THE EYES OF GOD. (The tears were flowing!!) It all became so clear to me as I realized I was judging people, as if I was so entitled, and then serving them based on what would fill me up some how. I wasn't really looking at people as a child of God, deserving of all that I was entitled to, and serving them with a pure heart to meet their deepest needs. See, each and every person on this earth, regardless of who they are, or what they've done, or where they are from, is made in the image of God. He loves everyone, every single person, with a genuine, unconditional love that we as humans will never understand. And Jesus Christ came to this earth for all of us, not just some of us. He offers His love and grace to everyone who will accept it. And who am I to withhold MY love, MY service, MY time, MY efforts, MY kindness, MY resources? Who am I to decide that God's commandments to love your neighbor are not fitting or applicable for this person or that circumstance? When I act in that attitude I am putting my self above God and saying that I know better than Him. Who am I to do that? I am just another child of God, totally desperate and dependent, no better than any other. And I pray that this lesson sticks with me and transforms me and brings me closer to being that "mature" follower.

Friday, September 14, 2007

We Are His Arms Of Love

Some of the most profound and inspiring music that I have ever come across is on this CD that my kids and I love to listen to in the car. It's an awesome album by Jana Alayra, called Dig Down Deep. The music is so much fun and we crank it up and sing so loud as we drive around the streets of San Clemente. Really, there is something so beautiful about singing aloud with your kids, especially about God. To hear their little voices belt it out to Jesus....forget it....it brings to tears to my eyes everytime! There is one song in particular that has really moved me:

A penny in my pocket, a dollar in my shoe
When I give them up to Jesus, there's nothing he can't do
To feed the hungry neighbor, give shelter from the cold
Take a wounded heart and make it whole
Oh, we are one family
Oh, with the Son of God you see
Yes, He's calling us to be His arms of love, His arms love
We are His arms of love, we are His arms of love

How awesome is that? It's basically what we are called to do in one simple sentence...WE ARE HIS ARMS OF LOVE. We are to reach out to all people, everywhere, scoop them up, pull them in and embrace them. We are to be a constant reflection of his love and kindness and compassion. And not because we feel obligated in any way. But because we feel so blessed and overwhelmed by His love, that it's just a natural overflowing attitude of gratitude.
This is such a perfect plan for peace in the world and I am more and more amazed everyday as I learn of God's brilliance and simplicity in His work for saving this world. I am so honored to be a part of His family and a part of His plan to bring about peace and love. What a special calling. I think this song perfectly sums up the whole point of the Christian experience. I hope that my girls forever remember this song. I hope they have fond memories of how fantastic it felt to sing it so loud together. I hope that they take the lyrics to heart and live out the message in their lives. As a mother, I want nothing more for them, than to understand that God loves them so much that in turn they love others and open their arms.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

WWJD

Yesterday Mark's cousin called me. She asked me to babysit her little boy on Wednesday because she has to go to court, and she has no one else to take care of him. I was reluctant because not only do I have my own two munchkins to take care of, but I've been registered to start this great, intensive Community Bible Study that morning. I've been signed up for months and am so anxious to start the class.
I found myself in a tough situation....I should help her, but I'm really spread thin with my own two kids, but I should help her, but I really want to start this Bible study, but I should help her, but, but, but...
I thought to myself, as I do many times when I am trying to navigate through a decision...WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
So, I agreed to watch her son. Right away I was proud of myself for making the "right choice."
But I quickly became kind of bugged and resentful and not too thrilled about what I was giving up in order to help her.
And so I thought to myself again....WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
It's not that he would just choose to serve, but he would do it humbly, with a happy heart, not feeling proud and puffed up about it because he was doing the "right" thing, but he would simply do it out of love.
I am trying, really trying, to have that kind of heart, as I serve my family out of love. It's easier to make the "right choice" because you know that's the action Jesus would take. It's much harder to follow through and do it, heart and all, like Jesus would.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

My Toe Nails Are Way Ahead Of My Heart

September 1st was a special day for me. Not only was it my mom's bday (happy belated mom, love ya!), but it marked the anniversary of the beginning of my relationship with God. We just celebrated 2 years together!
I have been doing some deep reflecting on the changes in my life over the last couple of years. I have made some major transformations...or rather....God has made some major transformations in me! I have entered into a committed and dependent relationship with Christ, I go to church, I was baptized, I am a fascinated and devoted student of the Bible, I listen to Christian Radio, I wear a cross around my neck, I serve as a leader for the high school ministry, I have simplified, re prioritized and slowed down...a little. I am not as driven by material gain or status, by fashion or trends. It just doesn't seem that important to me anymore. If you knew me two years ago...and you know me now....one of the biggest indications of the change in me is my unpedicured toes!!! I never would have gone more than 3 weeks without getting my toes painted and my feet massaged, and I wouldn't have been caught dead with "the natural" look in flip flops! Well, here I sit, no polish on my toes, and flip flops are part of my summer uniform. I am a changed woman! Something in me just feels free not to worry about that anymore, where 2 years ago, anxiety would have taken over my day if a toe nail chipped. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with having nicely pedicured toes, and I intend to still enjoy that on special occasions, but for ME, this is a huge sign of the changes going on.
But I am sad to report that I don't feel like my insides have made such impressive improvements. I still find myself regularly grouchy, snapping at my husband and children, still gossiping and judging people and feeling insecure and depressed and inadequate. I still struggle with so many "issues" and wonder when my insides will really start to heal. I want so much to be a good person, to feel secure in my own skin, to be at peace, to love others always, to treat people with kindness, but the truth is that I still have so far to go. Hopefully, in another 2 years, I will be able to report that God has helped me break free of some of these old struggles.