I Have To Obey

I have so much in my heart right now it feels like it just might explode! I am literally shaking as I try to put all my thoughts and feelings into words that make some sense.
I am embarking on an opportunity to travel to South Africa in a few months to work with an organization, Acres of Love, that rescues and cares for orphans whose parents have died from AIDS. Becoming involved with Acres of Love has changed the very course of my life, welcoming me into a place and a role where I truly feel like my purpose in life is being defined and perfected. When I am doing the work of helping this organization to help those suffering children I feel more alive than I've ever felt.
My whole life I have been dealing with a fire inside of me, a passion, a deep yearning, a longing to fulfill the desire of my heart that wants to make a lasting difference in this hurting world. I have tried repeatedly to find the right place and organization and cause to really dig in and do this, but those efforts have never been truly soul satisfying or fruitful. But now that I have found and worked with Acres of Love, my soul is singing and I know, that I know, that I know that this is where I am supposed to be.
Since I became a Christian a couple years ago, I have prayed and prayed for God to transform me and to use my life, my hands and feet, my resources, my talents and gifts and to make it clear to me what He wants me to do to help Him in redeeming this hurting world.
Well, that transformation that I pray and pray for is taking place in my heart and my family and my whole life everyday. Since getting to know Jesus, studying the Bible daily, committing my life to be His follower, making my relationship with him a priority and learning to submit to His will in my life, He has been faithful in doing the work inside of me and I am becoming transformed at light speed. The changes that have taken place in me and in my life are not because of anything that I did, rather they are because of the work that God has been faithful to do. Like author Tom Davis said, "Transformation DID occur when I would hear the words of Jesus and obeyed them. The more I obeyed, the more I was transformed."
James 1:27 says that "Pure religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for the orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." I am certain that God is calling me, loud and clear, to work with Acres of Love, to be an ambassador for these innocent and victimized children and to truly live out the words of James in this verse. I am certain of it. And I am confident that making the trip to South Africa is part of His plan for me. I believe that my effectiveness as a leader for this organization will come from my direct experience of meeting these children, seeing the country they come from, holding them, playing with them, getting to know them and seeing with my own eyes the difference that I can make by reaching out to them and sharing God's love with them. I want to be right in the middle of the place that God wants me. I want to fulfill His great plans for my life. I want to do what my Father wants from me. I want to be obedient to His call and then trust that He will bless my efforts for my faithfulness. I believe that if I am about God's business that He will protect me, bless me, and take care of every last detail with this journey. I know that if I pass up this opportunity because I am fearful or nervous or because I am trying to please other people, that I will be saying "NO!" to God who is asking for my trust and faith and obedience. God created me, He loves and adores me, He knows and wants what is best for me and He is calling me to be his hands and feet and arms in South Africa to those children and I have to go!
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11-13

An Exception To My Rule

When I get into theological debates with friends and family about why I believe in God, an argument that comes up often from my "unbelieving" loved ones is "...But Christians are such hypocrites. The say they believe in God and they act all high and mighty and then they gossip, cheat, treat others unkindly, etc. I don't want to be a part of that. Christianity doesn't really seem to work or make a difference."
To that argument I always want to say something like "Don't judge God by His followers. You are selling yourself incredibly short if you are making a decision to not believe in God because people you know that believe in Him aren't perfect. In fact, Christians, by proclaiming their need for God are actually admitting their "unperfectness" and asking God to help them in their sinful lives. Church is not a place that you go because you are better than other people or "more holy" than others, or you have it all together. Churches are like hospitals, a place where you can go because you are sick and broken and hurting and flawed and you know you need a savior to make you better."
But, this week I find myself wanting to point my "unbelieving" loved ones in the direction of San Clemente Presbyterian Church and shout "Go there and judge God by His followers!!!"
My father-in-law has been in and out of the hospital for over a week, struggling with all sorts of medical issues. As I sit and write he is in the ICU. Our family is very concerned, worried, stressed. Yesterday morning he was in really bad shape. I sent out an email to my Christian neighbors and some friends from our church to pray for him and the family. (and by the way, my husband and I are the only one's that attend this particular church, my in laws do not) The response I have received is almost too much to accept. People are praying, offering to watch the kids, offering to cook meals, offering to run errands, offering to go to the hospital and pray with my father-in-law, offering scriptures to rely on, offering anything that we could possibly need. This community of people that I have found myself belonging to (no mistake by God I am sure of that!) is exactly what Christianity should look like. It's loving, faithful, self sacrificing, rooted in the truths of the Bible, unwavering in their life commitment to Christ, and overwhelmingly real and genuine and authentic. This church has been lead by it's pastoral staff to become a body of people who truly become the presence of God himself just when you need it. I am more certain of my belief in God today because of this scary circumstance I find myself in and because of the actions of His believers. I wish the whole world could experience God and believe in Him because of His followers at my church!

Believe....Act

"To believe something is to ACT as if it were true."

I can't get this quote out of my mind. I can't escape it or get rid of it. My pastor used it a long while ago in a sermon and it's still haunting me. I'm convinced that the holy spirit is trying to tell me that I need to really get this one.
It's pretty interesting, this quote, because for a long time I've kind of been thinking along those lines, and this quote just sort of wraps it up for me and puts a pretty little bow on it. I've struggled with this concept for some time now and I am excited to really look at it, study it and see what I can learn from it.
Here's what I'm thinking so far...if we REALLY believe in God, REALLY believe in Jesus Christ, REALLY believe that he came as the Messiah to save the world, REALLY believe that he was crucified for us, died for us and conquered death by rising again, REALLY believe that by believing in him and following him that we are forgiven for our sins and live in freedom, REALLY believe that we have eternal life and are truly, truly, truly saved and free to just love and serve our neighbor in the name of Christ.....then we should be ACTING like we BELIEVE it. If we REALLY, REALLY, deep down REALLY believe all of these things as the ultimate and sure, bottom line truth, then we should be changed, different, alive, energized, living freely, loving abundantly, sharing all of our possessions and time and talents, happy, joyful, peaceful, sure of our salvation and eager to share this new found freedom with anyone and everyone, especially those we love.
If we REALLY believe that we are saved, that we are ourselves going to conquer death and live eternally with Christ, then why are we anxious, stressed, grumpy, lazy, clinging to material things and social status, worried about what others think, afraid to just be ourselves and accept who we are in God's eyes, why aren't we constantly singing and dancing and rejoicing in our freedom, why aren't we helping each other more, out saving the world and trying to convince everyone to turn to Christ so that they too can live eternally?
If we REALLY believe in God, why aren't we ACTING like it?

An Answer to Anxiety

I went to an awesome conference this past weekend with some neighbor gals in San Diego. We had the honor of hearing Beth Moore speak. She is so great, so real and funny and brilliant. I learned so many good things, but one little nugget if wisdom is really sticking with me...
The anxiety we experience is caused by our trying to control a situation that is entirely out of our control. We try to play "Jr God" and control situations, people, etc.
For instance, I get anxious about flying somewhere without my kids. I get all nervous and worried that something might happen to me while I am on the plane. My heart rate goes up, I get stressed and uptight, etc. Does the anxiousness do anything, solve anything, make anything better or safer or less dangerous? No. I get all worked up about something that I have no control over. Who is in control? God. If we can learn to surrender, give up that "feeling" that we can control things, and just have faith that God has got it all covered, how peaceful and freeing that would be.

A Real Life Lesson

I had to do something terrible today....I had to teach my young daughters about the "real world."
I have become friends with a homeless woman, Pamela, who spends most of her time down by the pier in San Clemente. I have been meeting her down there once or twice a week, bringing her food, money, a bus pass, lists of resources for shelter and health care and found her some good mental health services, I brought her a good Christian book and today I took her an art notebook and some colored pencils because she loves to draw. I am trying to do what I can to help meet some of her needs, and mostly just trying to be her friend, praying for and just caring about her.
I dropped my girls off at a friends house today so I could go spend some time with Pamela at the beach. After I picked my girls up they began asking all sorts of questions about her in the car on the way home. My conversation with my 4 1/2 year old daughter went something like this:
Katelyn: Where does Pamela live?
Me: She lives on the streets honey, she doesn't have a home.
K: Why doesn't she have a home?
M: Well, her brain is sick honey and so it's hard for her to work, and so she doesn't have any money to pay for a home.
K: She can come live with us!
M: That's so sweet, but it wouldn't be safe for us to have her live with us because she is sick and sometimes she gets really grumpy and can be kinda mean.
K: Where does she keep all her clothes?
M: She only has one outfit, so just wears it all the time..
K: Doesn't she have any pj's?
M: No.
K: We should get her some pj's!
M: That would be nice, but she doesn't have anywhere to keep that kind of stuff.
K: We could get her some drawers.
M: But honey, she doesn't have a house to keep the drawers in.
K: We should make her a house. We could ask some of those guys that make houses to make her one.
M: Houses cost a lot of money to make honey, and we don't have the money to make her one.
K: What should we do?
M: Well, we should continue to be her friend and help her as much as we can and pray for her safety and health.
K: Okay, we'll pray for her everyday!