This Side of Africa

In 3 years the Lord has transformed me. All anyone has to do to believe in the power of God in a person's life is look at me. I sought after God and He showed himself to me, I gave my life to Christ, I submitted to His will and His plan for my life, forgoing my own personal wants and desires. He showed me a purposeful life that was much bigger than one I could have ever dreamt up on my own. He is very clearly cleansing me and changing me and refining me and has lead me down a narrow path that has brought me to this very day. I am preparing to leave my husband and young daughters to board a plane to fly to South Africa to work with AIDS orphans. I weep as I write this. I am overwhelmed with joy and awe at the God that has spent so much time on me, being so faithful to equip me and provide for me and prepare me for this divine appointment. This is not a vacation. This is a God assignment. Since I gave my life to Christ I have prayed unceasingly to be used by Him to help save the world and make a lasting impression in whatever place He wanted to use me. And of course, He has been so faithful to His word. I am being used by God, the creator of the universe to reach out to suffering orphans in South Africa, who by no fault of their own, are victims to the tragic AIDS pandemic. This is how God is at work to restore the world. He uses his faithful believers and followers to be His presence and action to a hurting people that need to experience his love and grace. Why me, there in South Africa? Why that cause? I don't know, I don't question. I just thank God for answering my prayers, for trusting me, for using me, for making my life purposeful. I am an example to my young daughters that when you surrender to the God that created you and He will raise you up to do great things in this world. That is the eternal legacy that my God is helping me to leave in this world and in my children. Am I afraid, nervous, fearful? A little. This is way out of my comfort zone. But that is how our God shows off. He will protect and provide and demonstrate how marvelous He is, as to draw others near to Him. And all I need to worry about is that I am right in the middle of the love of the Lord and that this is where He wants me. Where else in the world would I ever want to be? Today, as His creature, I am being used by THE Creator in South Africa.
"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!" Joshua 1:9

In The Palm of His Hand

I imagine, God's hands. That's all I really see. Just His hands, together, cupped, making a round, safe, warm, protected shelter. I imagine that is the very place that He has me right now. I imagine that is where He holds my whole entire life, my passions and dreams, my purpose, my family and my heart and love and my future, all right there, in very palm of His hands. I imagine that He is holding His hands very steady, careful to hold me close, not to let me fall, but to assure me that I am safe in His care. It is here that He cleanses me, loves me, nurtures me, teaches me, prepares me. And I sense, with clear certainty, that He is getting ready to set me free. It seems that He will be nurturing me in this safe place for just a short while longer, and then He will be ready to lower His hands down, open up His grip and direct me off onto to a very specific path that He will encourage me down. I don't the place that He is leading me to, but I will know when I get there, and I will be ready to run.

The Revolution

I consider yesterday, September 1st, to be my 3rd anniversary of the day that I came to the Lord. I was getting a massage yesterday afternoon and it dawned on me, that I could have very well not even be alive. Had I not reached out to God in the late afternoon of Sept 1, 2005 I think that maybe I wouldn't even be here today. I count it as such an incredible blessing to be alive, to be here with my husband and kids and friends and family. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to the God that accepted me into this relationship with him after a lifetime of my choice to live apart from him. I want to live the rest of my life on purpose, deliberate, ever aware of the fact that I have a second chance to do this thing right, not for me, but for the Lord that I love and serve. He has done a mighty work in me in just 3 years, it's incredible. I am 100% certain that life with God is THE ONLY WAY!!!
I am about half way through the best book, and yesterday felt the sense that I needed to go back to the beginning and start over because I was craving the power and greatness of it all over again. I commit my life to this philosophy and to the "revolution" that I am following after.
Some excerpts from "The Jesus of Suburbia" by Mike Erre...
"I think we may have lost sight of Jesus among all the trappings of the Christian religion. Amid all the hype about the growing poltical power of the evangelicals, the growing numbers of mega-churches, and the booming, billion-dollar Christian subculture industry, I wonder if we have left Jesus behind?...My primary contention is this: Much of what passes for modern, western Christianity isn't of Jesus. We can (and do) lose Jesus right in the middle of prayer meetings and worship services. We can miss him in the bible and in the church...We may think we worship the Jesus of Nazareth, but in reality we worship the Jesus of Suburbia...The suburban Jesus would never be so offensive as to demand that we do what he says; he is more interested in the security, comfort and prosperity of his followers. In short, much of the message of American Christianity presents Jesus as the purveyor of the American Dream...Jesus birth was was revolution. It changed everything...If we understand his birth as revolution, ten we may glimpse the revolution that his life will bring. Jesus has been, and always will be, a threat to the established order of things...Our world doesn't want to be reminded of Christ-because he forces us to choose. In our just do it, have it all kind of world, the revolution of Jesus forces us to choose: Who is King? Who is Lord? What empire do you serve? What god do you bow down to?...We must be reawakened to the fact that the birth and life of jesus directly opposes the power and authority of this world. He has been and always will be a threat to everything...Not only did Jesus's birth turn everything upside down, so did his life and what he taught. You must die to live. You must lose to gain. Weakness is strength. Joy exists in the midst of suffering. Power is restraint. Love those who persecute you. Pray for those who hate you...This is revolution...Two kingdoms war on this earth...One is built on war, oppression, wealth, power, self-interest, and control; the other on love, faith, hope, freedom, grace, compassion, and truth...Will we choose the Jesus of Suburbia who exists to provide us with health, wealth, comfort and happiness? Or will we press on to find the Jesus of Nazareth, the most dangerous an radical man to ever walk the face of the earth? I want the real thing."