My Perfect Prescription

I don't know if I'm the only one that feels this way. (I suppose it's highly likely!) I am constantly disappointed with myself. As my husband so frequently reminds me, "Kim, you are your own worst enemy!" He is so right, I am. I am so hard on myself, so critical, so judgemental. I hold myself to such a high standard, expect a lot, and come down very hard when I don't meet my own expectations. It's crazy, this I know, but it's true.

The saddest part about this cycle is that I keep visiting the same issues, over and over and over. Really, they are the same ones!!! I find myself always setting goals for myself in the following areas:

1. Eat healthy

2. Exercise

3. Cut back on spending

4. Slow down, simplify, don't spread self too thin= spend QUALITY time with the kids

5. (over the last 2 years) Daily quiet time with God, reading Bible and in prayer

When I do those things for a substantial period of time, I feel awesome! I feel empowered and balanced and healthy in body and mind. The great feelings are positive reinforcement to stay the course and it's a wonderful cycle.

Then....I slip up on one thing, and then I get lazy in another area, and before I know it I feel like I have lost it in all areas and my life is a mess. It's kind of creepy how they all seem so connected. It's all or nothing. I am either "in control" or "out of control." And then the disappointment sets in, and I find myself in a short spell of disgust and self loathing......until I reset the SAME goals and try again.

And so, the prescription for my balanced life is easy to identify, but so hard for me to follow. How am I letting enriched carbs, laziness, frivilous spending, a hectic calendar and excuses for time away from God make me so sick???