F.U.N Kim

For years, all that Mark has really asked of me, is that I be "F.U.N. Kim"...flexible, understanding and nice.
Sure, he likes the laundry done, the frig stocked and a warm meal waiting for him after work....but he wouldn't care about those things at all if I was always just F.U.N.
If I am in one of those self improvement moods, and maybe Mark and I are sharing some wine and a nice meal out away from the kids, I'll get all snuggly and I'll ask Mark, "what can I do to make you more happy? what areas do I need to work on to be the kind of wife that you want me to be?" Almost everytime, he answers, "Kim, I just want you to be F.U.N" (he came up with that a few years back, and he just thinks he is so clever every time he uses is....but really, it's pretty darn good!) He'll explain that he just wants me to be pleasant, to be kick back and easy going, to be enjoyable and kind. Sounds easy enough? How sad is it to say that I can't always do it!!
I am feeling really convicted lately about the kind of wife I've been. I've been taking these stupid hormones to try to get rid of the ovarian cysts that I keep getting, and they have turned me into a monster. All excuses aside, I have been such a difficult person to live with for the last month, and poor Mark has had enough of me. I am fighting him on everything, am in a constant bad mood and am losing my temper over the smallest things. The other night, he said to me..."it is just no fun to be around you anymore!" That one really stung. I certainly don't want to be kind of wife that he dreads coming home to. Instead I want to be the F.U.N. place he looks forward to rushing home to at night, the place where he can forget his stresses and burdens, the place that restores his energy, makes him feel like the strong, capable, succesful man that his girls at home think he is. I want to be the place where he can refuel, feel relaxed and peaceful and worry free. I want my actions to be a reflection of how much I love him, respect him, appreciate him and honor him. I just want to be F.U.N!!