True Freedom

Mark was also at camp last week, acting as counselor for the 10th grade boys. When he pondered the questions "If you could do one thing for God and know that you couldn't fail, what would it be?" and "What is keeping you from doing that?" his answers were "I would want everyone to be able to pursue their life's passions, to work like they didn't need the money, dance like no one was watching, love like they had never been hurt....to be truly free to live and love. However, I feel like I can't do that because I am overburdened with bills, with real world responsibilities with the burden of providing for my family and trying to get by in this culture and economy."
I wonder how Jesus feels when we answer like this. I wonder if God just feels so sad for us, if he just sighs and shakes his head and wonders if we will every get it. I can't help but think that we are way off base, so far from living the type of lives that God created us to live. We have shackled ourselves, imprisoned ourselves, tied ourselves down. As Christians we claim to be "free." Jesus told us in John 8 "You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Do you feel free?
To me, to be free means that I am mobile, I am able to move about and love and serve and act in response to a need and just be fluid and flowing. It means that I am not obligated, not scheduled, not constrained. It means that I am living my life as it comes, making deliberate choices each day, each moment as I feel called or moved to.
I don't feel this way. I feel pressured and stressed and boxed in and obligated and resentful and burdened and chaotic. I believe that we are missing something huge here. I sense that our culture is sadly off kilter. I am certain that God is mourning the loss of the type of freedom that he created us for. I have tasted satisfying bits of freedom when I have allowed myself to "go there" with Christ, truly accepting his truth, getting lost in a worship song, honestly loving and serving another person, being in the moment, letting my guard down, etc. I think that unless we figure out how to truly get free in Jesus Christ all the time, then we will always be banging our head against the wall. But how do we do that in 2008? How do we do that in Orange County, CA? How do we do that while paying a mortgage and raising kids and putting food on the table? How do we get truly free? I want it...I want true, true, freedom.