Who Am I?

Well, summer seems like a distant memory! My girls and I have already decorated the house with all the fall decorations. (Mark taught Katelyn to say "mommy, you have ants in your pants!!") Yesterday was cool and crisp, it even sprinkled during my morning run. And at 4am this morning we were pleasantly surprised with a rain storm.
But I have been spending a lot of my time lately reflecting on this past summer. Every other Thursday morning, one of my Pastors, Lisa, and I would meet for coffee. We spent the summer months going through a "discipleship." I spent time every day doing homework in a great workbook called "Walking With Christ," then we would meet, go over the questions and discuss all sorts of great things related to becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ. I learned so much from her and my reading of Scripture, and I was especially challenged to really look hard at myself and all the things that keep me from truly becoming a faithful disciple of Jesus.
All of our lessons came together beautifully as we finished with the last chapter called "Walking As a Servant." At the beginning of the lesson it said "Mature followers of Jesus are marked by what they will do for others without expecting anything in return." Geeze, I think that in most cases I expect a little something in return for the good deeds I do. It may not be a huge production, or a hand written thank you note, but at least the acknowledgement of my act of kindness. But then, I am missing the point in the act of service. I am "doing" in order to be recognized, complimented, appreciated. That certainly isn't how it all went down for Jesus.
There was a question in the lesson that I just can't shake off. (guess God really wants me to learn from this one, huh?!) It asked "consider that Jesus served even his betrayer. Who are the most difficult people for you to serve?" Pastor Lisa and I spent a considerable amount of time on this question and it really struck a cord with me. As we finished our time together that morning, she prayed for us, as she did every time. And she prayed for me and my family specifically, as she always did. This time she prayed that I would be able to serve those that are the hardest for me to serve. And she prayed that I would be able to see those people THROUGH THE EYES OF GOD. (The tears were flowing!!) It all became so clear to me as I realized I was judging people, as if I was so entitled, and then serving them based on what would fill me up some how. I wasn't really looking at people as a child of God, deserving of all that I was entitled to, and serving them with a pure heart to meet their deepest needs. See, each and every person on this earth, regardless of who they are, or what they've done, or where they are from, is made in the image of God. He loves everyone, every single person, with a genuine, unconditional love that we as humans will never understand. And Jesus Christ came to this earth for all of us, not just some of us. He offers His love and grace to everyone who will accept it. And who am I to withhold MY love, MY service, MY time, MY efforts, MY kindness, MY resources? Who am I to decide that God's commandments to love your neighbor are not fitting or applicable for this person or that circumstance? When I act in that attitude I am putting my self above God and saying that I know better than Him. Who am I to do that? I am just another child of God, totally desperate and dependent, no better than any other. And I pray that this lesson sticks with me and transforms me and brings me closer to being that "mature" follower.