Thursday, March 27, 2008

Grace And Truth With Goldfish Crackers

I am in the process of reading a great, great, great book called "Raising Great Kids" by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. It is a comprehensive guide to parenting with Grace and Truth. The book is filled with my highlighter marks and I am finding that I am transforming as a mom from the inside out, even as I read.
The basis of the book is that "character growth is the main goal of child rearing...We view character as the structures and abilities within ourselves that make up how we operate in life. In other words, character is the sum of our abilities to deal with life as God designed us to." (pg.29)..."you can give a child all the "advantages"-security, good schools, churches, and camps-but if they don't develop character, they can quickly lose the advantage of the advantages." (pg. 30)
The Dr's have convinced me that raising a child with character requires the integration of Grace and Truth. "Grace, in the Bible's terms, means "favor." Grace-filled people are kind toward others; they are "for" a person and not against him...true grace is not earned; it is given freely out of love...Truth is the state of being reliable and trustworthy. It is ultimate reality, the timeless realities God wove into his creation. If we live in truth, we do what is right (pg 40)...Parents must at the same time love their child and provide limits and structure. They must be loving and firm. They must be kind, but require the child to do his part. They must be compassionate and forgiving, but require the child to change and be responsible. Soft on the person, hard on the issue...Grace lets a child know she is loved. Truth guides her on that to do and become." (pg. 42)
This afternoon I tested out grace and truth with Taylor. We were getting out of the car at home and after I unbuckled her seat belt she quickly snatched a carton of Goldfish crackers, looked me dead in the eye and dumped the entire box on the floor of the back seat, devilishly giggling as she did so. (this type of food spilling destruction is so one of her favorite activities....what's up with that?....little stinker!) My instinct is to grab her stearnly, yank her out of the car while raising my voice at her and then just leave the mess that I would eventually clean up later. But my "grace and truth" strategy went like this.....deep breathe, quick prayer "Lord give me patience with this precious child!", I quietly and calmly got my other daughter out of the car, got my purse and other belongings out of the way, picked up Taylor and asked her to look at my face, I said "Taylor, it isn't nice to spill your food all over. It makes a big mess and you are wasting all of that food on the floor. Now, here is the box, please pick up all of the crackers." Once she got started on her own I helped her along by holding the box open for her so it was easier to get them in. When she was finally done I told her again that it wasn't nice to waste the food and make a big mess. In her sweet little voice she sincerely said "I'm sorry Mommy for dumping the Goldfish." To which I snuggled her tight, thanked her for doig such a good job cleaning up and told her I forgave her and loved her.
I have learned from this book that grace and truth must always go together. "A child needs to know that you are on his side, and that is grace. He needs to know that you will give him reality, and that is truth." (pg. 64)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

My Easter Lesson

Our Easter morning was going great and I was real pleased that all of my preparation to make it special was paying off. The girls loved waking up to the jelly bean trail, and their easter baskets and the egg hunt, etc. Then it started to get later and we needed to get busy. We had to eat breakfast, shower, get the girls ready and out the door for church before meeting the rest of the family for brunch. I started to get really aggravated and annoyed with Mark, nagging at him for not doing exactly what I wanted him to be doing to help me out. All huffy, I stomped up the stairs and yelled down at him that I was getting in the shower.
As I showered, I prayed. (a regular ritual for me) I was able to calm down a little and remember how special this holiday was. I began to see that I was getting all wrapped up in the hype and the chaos and was missing the celebration. I asked God to help me see and appreciate the true joy of this day in our faith. I asked God to meet me right here in my life and show what He wanted me to know and learn and experience.
Minutes later I was back to the reality of the busy morning and feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated as I ran frantically from room to room trying to get everything ready for everyone. I started this conversation with myself, "And what about me? Huh? What is anyone doing for me? I do and do and do for everyone around here to make everything perfect and special and no one ever thinks about how much I put into it. Nobody has any idea how much time and thought and energy I put into this kind of stuff. There was the brunch reservations and the easter basket shopping and the egg decorating and getting up in the middle of the night to hide the silly eggs and the..."
And then right there in the middle my sad and pathetic and self-righteous pity party the Holy Spirit met me. And He answered my morning prayer by teaching me with this verse that rang loudly in my head..."For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28
I wonder what it must have felt like for Jesus, who came to this earth to do and do and do for everyone else, only to be treated and crucified like a criminal. But He was so amazing because He came, fully God, not to be served like a King, but to serve and even give his life for us.
God, help me to remember how you came to serve and help me to serve you and others with a more humble and happy heart.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Fields Of The Fatherless

I just finished Fields Of The Fatherless by C. Thomas Davis. Here are some excerpts that spoke right to my heart and answered questions that I have been asking God about serving AIDS orphans in South Africa...

"The Lord has told us that He is the Father of the Fatherless; so, if we truly want to experience God we must go where He is-in the fields of the fatherless. It is in this place where God reveals Himself." page 11

"...God's joy could be mine when I participated with Him in doing something that mattered so much to Him!" page 26

"If you searched the Bible from front to back, you'd find many issues close to God's heart. But you'd notice three groups of people coming up again and again...Allow me to introduce you to those God continually draws our attention to. They are the orphans, widows, and strangers. What these people have in common is their desperate need of provision and protection. They are the weak, the under-privileged, and the needy among us...Cleary, the protection and well being of this group are one of God's great and constant concerns. So much so, in fact, that he defines Who He is by His promises to them. Consider his promise to provide:
"A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in his holy habitation.
God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity. (Psalm 68:5-6)" page 26-27

"God gave the responsibility to care for the defenseless to those claiming to be followers of Christ. It is through our hands the Father's love comes, it is through our voices His voice is heard, it is through our efforts and those of the church that his care is revealed to the ones the rest of the world has forgotten." page 33

"As we focus on fulfilling what is on God's heart, looking ahead to the joy he promises-we help others find the love of God through the giving of ourselves. That's the ultimate goal!" page 77

"...Jesus spoke to the very heart of the matter. "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:18). page 130

"This is the greatest need to be met in our day-to know our true Father. Knowing Him brings definition, fulfillment, and completion to our lives. It truly answers the questions of our existence, yesterday, today and tomorrow. God is our Father." page 130

"The more we become the hands, the feet, the love of Jesus, the more joy we find. We give, and we end up receiving much more than we could ever imagine...After all is said and done, when we sincerely ask God the question, "If I could live my life doing only one thing, what would You want me to do?" page 133

"As you walk through the fields of the fatherless
Your light will break forth like the morning!
And the life you live will no longer seem mundane and meaningless.
Instead, every minute will be filled with joy, purpose and significance.
And when this life is over and you stand face-to-face with the Father,
what a reward will be in store for you!
Because you saw the face of Jesus in the face of the lost and lonely,
God will see His Son in your eyes.
Because you cared more about what He care most about-
God will recognize you as his faithful partner.
And because you made every effort to express in simple ways the Father's love
the smallest deeds you did for the least of these will count greatly for all eternity." page 134

I Had No Idea What 2 Years Could Do

Today I celebrate the 2 year anniversary of my baptism. (and of both my daughers!!)
I had no idea that my life would look like this today. I had no idea what the heart of God was really like. I had no idea who Jesus Christ was and what He offered to those who followed Him. I had no idea that my life would be headed in this direction. I had no idea that it really wasn't all about me, that I could find true peace and joy in Christ and in looking outside of my own self. I had no that these would be the words that God would really put in my heart to live by....I had no idea!!

"Share your food with the hungry,
and give your shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
Then, when you call, the Lord will answer.
'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply."
Isaiah 58:7-9

Monday, March 17, 2008

Take Up Your Cross

My next door neighbor, Lisa, has become one of my dearest friends. Over the last 9 months we have shared 2 very important passions together. One is running (we workout together 6 days a week at 5am! We ran a half marathon in January and are now training for a duathlon in April!) And the other is working alongside Acres of Love to rescue and care for abandoned AIDS orphans in South Africa. Lisa has also been invited to go to SA in October and together we are carefully wrestling with this big decision. We are prayerfully considering this risky and life changing trip and as sisters in Christ we want to be sure of God's will in each of our lives as we struggle through this discernment process.
A few Saturdays ago we were running along the San Juan river bed. We were jamming that morning, running so hard and strong as we talked about what we thought God might be wanting to use our lives for, what purpose does He want us to serve, and if we felt we were being called to go to South Africa. We made a joke that it sure would be nice if God would just give us a clear sign in regards to his will for us in this decision. Immediately our attention was drawn down to the ground in front of us as we ran past a small, wooden, hand made cross on the ground. We both freaked out!! Wow, there's a sign for us! I turned back and bent down to grab the cross and as I stood up a scripture came to me and I said out loud...."Take up your cross and follow me." I carried that cross for the rest of our run, getting some strange looks from passers by! It now hangs on my kitchen wall.
This past Sunday at church one of the pastors did his sermon on that very scripture. Strange coincidence?
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you want to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."
-Matthew 16: 24-25
My bible commentary says this about the verse "When Jesus used this pictures of his followers taking up their crosses to follow him, the disciples knew what he meant. Crucifixion was a common Roman method of execution, and condemned criminals had to carry their cross through the streets to the execution site. Following Jesus, therefore, meant a true commitment, the risk of death, and no turning back...Real discipleship implies real commitment-pledging our whole existence to his service. If we try to save our physical life from death, pain, or discomfort, we may risk losing eternal life. If we protect ourselves from the pain that God calls us to suffer, we begin to die spiritually and emotionally. Our lives turn inward, and we lose our intended purpose. When we give our life in service to Christ, we discover the real purpose of living."

Thursday, March 13, 2008

"Be Careful What You Wish For...

...you just might get it all...you just might get it all!"
by Chris Daughtry

I would say that second to the blessings that I ask for in regards to health and safety and strong faith for my family, one of my most frequent prayers goes something like this...
"God, thank you! Thank you for everything that you have done for me. Thank you for saving my life and for inviting me into this relationship with you. Thank you for loving me and accepting me even though I never did anything to deserve it. I am so humbled by your love, so overwhelmed by how good you are and I want to be in your presence all the time. I want to live my life totally committed to you, following you, being transformed by you. I want to be a light to shine in this world for you. I want to share your love with everyone. Your plan for saving this world is so, so perfect and I want to be a part of it. God change me and mold me and make me better. Lord use my life to bring you glory so that the the world will turn to you. I want everyone to know you and be in the middle of your love. I know that you are the answer, that you are the way to real freedom and peace and joy. I want to make a difference for you. I want to help you and serve you and dedicate my life to you. Use me Lord, use me."
I talk like this with God all the time. I have this deep, unquenchable desire to really step up and step out to make a difference for God and I have begged him countless times to use me for his glory.
I wonder if this opportunity to serve these sick, traumatized, helpless orphans in South Africa is His personal invitation?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Desires of My Heart

"There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs."
-Captivating; Unveiling the Mystery Of A Woman's Soul

Mark and I met with our pastor last week to help navigate through a decision that is weighing on us. Since my involvement with an amazing organization called Acres of Love, I have found my life taking on a whole new purpose and direction. I feel very passionate about the work that Acres is doing to rescue and care for abandoned AIDS orphans in South Africa. I worked hard for months to plan a fundraiser to help with the costs for medical care for one very sick little girl in one of their homes and it was a smashing success. The organization has invited me to go to South Africa in October to meet the kids and see first hand how the program works.
My heart says to go, but head is freaking out. It's a dangerous country and I am the mother to 2 young girls. Is this the right season of life for me to do this? Is this where God wants me? Is He "calling" me to go there and be a part of this important cause? I asked my pastor "How do I know if this is God's will for me or if this is just me trying to fulfill some selfish desire?"
He answered, "God gives us the desires of our heart."
God made me to be a crazy romantic, a passionate bleeding heart, a natural servant, an obligated doer and my heart is aching to help these children in South Africa and make a real difference in their lives.
God, help me to know what you want me to do.